November Away to Chiang Mai, Thailand, 17 – 22 November 2024

Left to Right Back: Brian Jeffers, Benji Sheehy, Joe Heggie, Matt Hall, Wayne Beck, Peter Kenyon, Iain Wise, Geoff McLaws, Ted Parslow, David Hewitt and Dave Evans

Front: Berni Schobert, Frank McKenzie, Tony Lynch, Allan Wright, Peter Dabrowski, Pietro Martucci, El Pres (Paul Geddes), Rikki Ingham and Colm O’Donovan

Great start to yet another fantastic K.L.O.G.S away. I am sure that every one of you enjoyed it as much as I did, if not more.

With some arriving in Chiang Mai earlier than the tour start date, having already discovered the more interesting spots to visit, we all converged at the designated bar on Sunday evening. Initial indications were that it promised to be a memorable week. 20 players off to a good start.

DAY 1. Alpine Golf Club, Chiang Mai

Alpine Golf Club has a fine reputation and our most recent experiences here held this course in high regard. The course itself did not disappoint but unfortunately, the greens were awful. Describing them as slow is as underwhelming as the greens; they were extremely inconsistent and much slower than the advertised stimp reading of 9, leading to many a three or even four putt.

Teeing off from hole 1 on the B course, we finished in reasonable time on the C course. Following the round, our exalted troupe wandered onto the dining terrace ready to feast on the days rewards.

El Pres opened proceedings with his usual aplomb and humour but quickly got down to business. Appreciating the course and layout, he too was critical of the greens and noted that the course condition had deteriorated somewhat.

Opening with 3^rd place then 2^nd place. El Pres, like any game show host, then left us hanging for the final result. We’ll be back after the break………….

3^rd Place Wayne Beck 103/33 points.                       2^nd Place Brian Jeffers 98/36 points.

And,

NTP’s

B course hole 3 – Matt Hall 10.3m                B course hole 7 – Tony Lynch 8.0m

C course hole 4 – Iain (Vice) Wise 6.5m        C course hole 7 – Benji Sheehy 15.0m

Birdies on the day – Ted Parslow (1) and Benji Sheehy (2)

And the golfer who took first place today……………..

1st – Ted Parslow 91/38. Well done Ted.

Interesting interlude to the formalities was when Wayne was caught using his phone just as his name was announced as the winner of “3^rd Place”, and looking confused as he went up to receive his prize, El Pres snatched his phone and slung it away. Incredibly, Benji plucked it out of thin air in a clean grab. After he thanked Benji and retrieved his phone, Wayne sat down saying, “How could I have won?” to the crowds response of “you didn’t, you came third!”

COTD Nominations;

• Wayne and Brian for throwing ice on the bus.
• Iain for pretending to be the President found wearing an El Pres KLOGS shirt.
• Iain for general poor etiquette on the course and getting up Joe’s knickers repeatedly.

Iain was again unanimously voted the COTD

            Scoring

KLOGS NOV MONTHLY COMP
Name	H/Cap	gross	net	Stblfrd
Ted Parslow (T)	21	91	70	38
Geoff McLaws	8	91	83	25
Paul Geddes (T)	10	92	82	26
Benji Sheehy	16	95	79	29
Brian Jeffers	26	98	72	36
Colm O’Donnovan	19	100	81	27
Bernie Schobert	18	100	82	26
Iain Wise (T)	22	101	79	29
Tony Lynch (T)	26	102	76	32
Wayne Beck	28	103	75	33
Peter Dabrowski (T)	21	104	83	25
Pietro Martucci	22	106	84	24
Joe Heggie	26	107	81	27
Matt Hall	28	110	82	26
Allan Wright	28	111	83	25
Rikki Ingham	28	114	86	22
Frank Mackenzie	28	118	90	18
Dave Evans	28	119	91	17
Peter Kenyon	28	120	92	16
David Hewitt	28	120	92	16

DAY 2 – Highlands Golf Course, Chiang Mai

Suitably stretched and lubricated prior to arriving at Highlands, we all, ahem, stepped off the bus ready to tear the course apart. Playing the A 9 and B 9 our five groups teed off slightly earlier than designated allowing us to finish in good time. The course was in great condition.

El Pres opened proceedings after a great selection of dishes to kick start the rest of the day.

Echoing many, he declared the course to be in great nick and, although the greens were also very slow, at least they were consistent.

Today was the first day of the horse and jockey event, the one where we all randomly choose a horse and jockey with whom, you aim to win or come dead last.

Jockeys	Horses
Paul Geddes	David Hewitt
Iain Wise	Matt Hall
Tony Lynch	Berni Schobert
Brian Jeffers	Paul Geddes
Wayne Beck	Wayne Beck
Berni Schobert	Tony Lynch
Peter Dabrowski	Frank McKenzie
David Hewitt	Dave Evans
Dave Evans	Allan Wright
Allan Wright	Pietro Martucci
Peter Kenyon	Joe Heggie
Ted Parslow	Peter Kenyon
Rikki Ingham	Peter Dabrowski
Frank McKenzie	Geoff McLaws
Colm O’Donovan	Benji Sheehy
Geoff McLaws	Brian Jeffers
Pietro Martucci	Ted Parslow
Matt Hall	Iain Wise
Benji Sheehy	Rikki Ingham
Joe Heggie	Colm O’Donovan

Winners will receive 6000 Baht each and last place will receive 4000 Baht each.

Aside from the individual stableford winner on the day, we only have the NTP’s.

NTP’s

Course A Hole 2 – Geoff McLaws 1.2m         Course B Hole 5 – Ted Parslow 1.98

Today’s winner of the individual scoring event (Stableford)

Benji Sheehy with 42 points.

COTD Nominations:

• Iain for telling Joe to hurry up while he was playing even slower.
• Joe for committing the ultimate sin – allowing his missus to access his WhatsApp account.
• Joe for spending more time on his phone than on the green.
• El Pres for being late on the bus and having his alarm set to the incorrect time zone! Hmmm.

The vote on this wasn’t actually required but the roar when Joe’s name was mentioned was deafening.

COTD Joe Heggie

DAY 3 – Highlands Golf Course – Day 2 of the Horse and Jockey event.

Playing the B and C nines this day and I was pretty impressed with the course combination. Although the green speed hadn’t improved it was a pretty nice day out. Kicking off pretty much on time, our five groups got around in reasonable time.

And on to the most important part of the day, the presentation. No such antics as phone throwing prevailed on this occasion however and El Pres, as always managed it pretty well.

There were two NTP holes this day with the 8^th hole on the B course and also the 8^th hole on the C course.

B Course Hole 8 – David Hewitt 4.6m           C Course Hole 8 – Geoff McLaws 11.3m

2^nd Overall Wayne Beck                                             1^st Overall Benji Sheehy

2^nd Place over two rounds – Wayne Beck (39 pts) Overall 71 pts

1^st Place over two rounds – Benji Sheehy (31 pts) Overall 73 pts

Horse and Jockey

16^th Place – Rikki & Benji                                           1^st Place – Benji & Colm

COTD Nominations

• Benji for winning everything.
• Iain for putting people off, poor course etiquette and general bad behaviour.
• Dave Evans for having a caddie that looked like his daughter.
• Matt for his outrageous behaviour in the early hours prior to golf (lost phone, lost cc, lost stomach contents)

There was really only one nomination fitting the behaviour of a true COTD…………

Matt was voted (unanimously) COTD.

Scores

2 Day Away Comp
		Day 1			Day 2
Name	H/Cap	GROSS	NET	POINTS	GROSS	NET	POINTS	Total
Benji Sheehy	16	84	68	42	93	77	31	73
Wayne Beck	28	104	76	32	97	69	39	71
Ted Parslow	17	92	75	33	91	74	34	67
Brian Jeffers	26	101	75	33	100	74	34	67
Colm O’Donnovan	19	97	78	30	93	74	34	64
Geoff McLaws	4	79	75	33	83	79	29	62
Pietro Martucci	22	99	77	31	100	78	30	61
Bernie Schobert	18	101	83	25	91	73	35	60
Allan Wright (T)	28	101	73	35	111	83	25	60
Peter Kenyon	28	107	79	29	107	79	29	58
Tony Lynch (T)	23	99	76	32	105	82	26	58
Iain Wise (T)	23	102	79	29	104	81	27	56
Dave Evans	28	111	83	25	107	79	29	54
David Hewitt (T)	28	110	82	26	109	81	27	53
Paul Geddes	11	92	81	27	94	83	25	52
Rikki Ingham	28	117	89	19	108	80	28	47
Peter Dabrowski	23	119	96	12	102	79	29	41
Frank Mackenzie (T)	28	113	85	23	119	91	17	40
Joe Heggie	26	110	84	24	122	96	12	36
Matt Hall	28	122	94	14	120	92	16	30

DAY 4 – Gassan (Ghastly) Legacy Golf Club. Team Competition abridged scramble.

This course does not rate a photograph.

Teams:

1. Geoff McL, Dave E, Rikki I, Allan W
2. Paul G, Iain W, Wayne B, Peter K
3. Berni S, Peter D, Brian J, Frank McK
4. Colm O’D, Ted P, Joe H, David H
5. Benji S, Pietro M, Tony L, Matt H

A quick look at the scorecard for this course sent a shiver up many a spine within our group, The refreshments taken on the way to this nightmare were quickly absorbed as we realised that every single tee shot on every single hole, was over water. Armed with bags full of spare balls we set off on a very crowded and slow beginning.

It quickly became evident that the only benefit of playing this course was ensuring the ball collectors had an income for the next month. Many of us had a lot of difficulty just reaching the fairway and with few or no escape routes, many balls ended up learning to swim.

I found the layout ridiculous even though a few of us could clear the water on the tee shots. As I watched ball after ball go into the water, however, I wondered how anyone could propose wanting to play here or even consider membership at this course.

It was indeed a slow round but we retired to the dining room for our lunch, much beer, much complaining and finally the presentation.

Opening with “Well, we wont be coming back here!” El Pres pretty much echoed how we all felt about this tragedy.

Announcing the team positions from last to first, we also took a quick tally of balls lost, but no names. A minimum of 120 balls were lost between us on this round of golf.

Team 1 – 5^th Position +10                              Team 3 – 4^th Position +9

Team 4 – 3^rd Position +6                                Team 5 – 2^nd Position +5

Team 2 – 1^st Position +3

COTD Nominations:

• Iain for being nominated every day.
• Pietro nominated his team for hitting 11 balls into the water on one Par 3.
• Peter Kenyon for yelling “how far is it?” on El Pres’ backswing.

Pietro was voted COTD (he must like the mug) for putting his own team in.

A vote was then taken for the COTT and there wasn’t much argument. Our day 2 winner – Joe Heggie.

Pietro magnanimously accepts his award.   Joe Heggie graciously accepts his COTT.

Brian Jeffers then rose to his rather large feet and began complimenting people. Firstly he praised Paul and Iain, but mainly Iain, for their organisation and running of yet another successful tour, he welcomed the new guys on tour and then presented PG with a cup honouring him as President of the Grumpy Fuckers Society, cup presented.

El Pres then offered a further compliment to Iain for his work in organising the tour and to Lek for being such a wonderful host and tour guide.

PG for President!

As always, our sponsors make the prizes possible, Thanks Sigi, for your continued support and donation of KLOGS golf balls. It should be noted that shortly before the tour commenced, Sigi delivered on his promise with 24 dozen golf balls stamped with the K.L.O.G.S logo.

On to the next tour, bye guys.

Your Scribe.