Scribe Report

December, 2012

Palm Garden Golf Course

A total of 12, The Dirty Dozen, showed up for play on a day threatening to rain – as it does during this time of the year.  We were here in August and pleased to return.  The course is only 5780 meters long from the Blue Tees with a Slope Rating of 128.  However, it does require proper placement of your shots …… as it did in August.  The course was in excellent condition and the greens were slightly on the fast side.

The three foursomes assembled their carts with C & C (clubs and caddies).  There was the normal confusion with the required paperwork and the 1^stGroup with El Prez in command was slightly detained.  Group No. 2 took full advantage of the situation and raced to be first off the tee.  They were well down the fairway by the time El Prez arrived at the first hole – which turned out to be Hole No. 10 also known as Longest Drive.  No doubt this was a devious trick by management to even out the odds on winning Longest Drive.  Herr Klaus, a part of the 1^st Group off was in good shape to win Longest Drive …… but it was a worry.  There were still some Big Bombers in the last two groups including John Arkinstall, Bernie Schubert and Richard Rodwell.  Due to the stress from being a Scribe and considering proper decorum I had withdrawn from Longest Drive competition.  However, if there was such a thing as Longest Ball out of bounds I would have surely won it on this 1^st hole.

As we played along (some good and some bad) the weather was changing.  Initially a few drops that turned into dribbles that turned into big droplets that were arriving at an increasing speed, frequency and density.  The horn sounded and we abandoned the golf course only slightly damp to the confines of the Club House.  Some decided more makan was necessary while others found a bit of Golden Nectar From The Gods was the more correct order.

The Hero at the rain break was none other Karl Muir – who was only one over after 7 holes with a total of about 20 points.  He accomplished this amazing feat without any birdies and looked to be the obvious winner for the day.  However, that too was not to be.

There was another serious battle being waged between El Prez and The Scribe over who would get the Most Golf in this particular day.  After 8 holes El Prez only had 51 strokes while The Scribe had amassed 58 strokes after 9 holes.  The Scribe looked like a sure winner ……. But that too was not to be.

After the golf we had a few beverages and a dinner of “fish n chips”.  It then became time recognize the worthy and those that the Gods of Golf did not shine on this day.

At the end of the day, the results were:

As you can see from the above, Herr Klaus 1^st shot off the 1^st tee was sufficient to get him Long Drive.  However, having shared the buggy with him I certainly did witness a great deal of stress of whether or not his drive would hold up to the challenge.

Karl faded a bit on the last 11 holes and Johan was able to claim the 1^st place position.  However, Karl did come in 2^nd place, won NTP on back 9 and Low Gross.  All in all a good day but Johan was not to be denied – a fine round by a 21 handicapper.

It was a difficult challenge but El Prez was able to withstand the push by The Scribe for Most Golf.  It was finally a matter of putting.  Who could get the most 3 putts and would either be lucky enough to get a rate 4 putt?  It was a tough competition.

The only thing left to be decided was COTD.  There were a few suggestions:

• Tony Morris – failure to put on golf shoes until 2^nd nine.
• John Arkinstal – Unfamiliar and dangerous buggy driving.  He did not discover the buggies had automatic brakes until the 6^th hole and was attempting various things to keep the buggy from running away – including circling the tee boxes.  He was also the one that was so urinated off about how he played he went directly home.  It was pretty awful it was 98.  I think El Prez and The Scribe would have paid good money for a 98.
• Tony Morris – failure to put out signs for Longest Drive and NTP after receiving detailed instructions from El Prez.
• Roger McGowan – after qualifying for NTP on the monstrous 180 meter 7^th hole on 2^nd nine had the audacity to ask “Should I put my name on the little marker paper than Tony will put in the green?”.  Why hell no ……. put my name there.
• Karl Muir – for blowing his lead by being only one over after 7 holes.

Editor’s Note:  If the above remotely resembles the golf outing you attended, it is purely coincidental. Management takes no responsibilities for the content of this document. 

Photos