Scribe Report

Rahman Putra

February 2012

 

Rahman Putra was the site of our February game.  This is a wonderful golf course and is well maintained.  It has a suitable number of sand bunkers, which are also well maintained.  In fact, it took Rick Brown only 3 shots to extract himself from one of the few bunkers he guided his ball into – which is not bad for Rick.  Has anybody ever seen him thrashing at the ball 4, 5, 6 or even seven times in a sand bunker uttering unmentionable curses?  Well I have and I can assure you it is not a pretty sight – unless, of course, you are involved in a desperate Skins game with him.  We were assigned to the Lakes Course, which is a challenge.  However, with the big heart he has El Pres elected to have us play from the White Tees (bless his soul).  The first time I played the Lakes Course I came in with a 104 from the Blue Tees and was moaning that I wished I could play White Tees someday.  Well this was that day and I came in with a 106.  It is very interesting in that there are some holes that require you to “lay-up”.  The Caddie advised me “No no – too long for you even with a Driver”.  Well she was right, of course.

The greens were in good condition and putting true as blue if you could read them.  I think only one 4 putt was recorded and we are not going to mention Barry Cousins.

The day had a bit of a sinister beginning.  The 1^st thing I noticed was that Klaus showed up with a new driver.  No – not a new club but a little hot looking thing that dropped him off and immediately headed for the shopping centers with his credit cards.  The next thing we know is Bernie is making desperate phone calls to advise he could not reach the golf course until 12:30 and that he was on his way from Whothefuckknowsville.  Management really was not concerned as tee times were not until 1:00 pm.  Doesn’t Bernie know this?  How long has he been a member?  Finally the V.P. showed up and dropped his bag off and proceeded to the bar.  His designated score card was still at the table next to the parking lot.

It should be pointed out that you are a rowdy, loud-mouthed lot that requires a lot of maintenance.  Management has little patience for those that repeatedly ask “What flight am I in?”  It is clearly printed on your designated scorecard.  Read it and leave management alone before the game – they have enough to do with eating, collecting money and trying to hawk t-shirts.

The weather was good with a slight wind on some holes – just ask Long Drive winner Richard.  He hit a 2 iron for the first six holes before he broke out the driver.  Didn’t hit it worth a shite on the 7^th but on the 8^th …… well he waited until there was a good strong wind behind him absolutely smashed a killer driver – 276 meters with a bit of draw to compensate for the dogleg left.  How the Hades does he do that?  By the way, does anybody still carry a 2 iron?  He found it in the back of a closet while looking for clubs for his visiting father Author better known as Pops.

I have always found playing with a father/son in the group to be “interesting” to say the least.  When the son is a young whippersnapper the father is always giving advice to the son – and they are a real pain in the arse.  Please note John and Zack Preston are not allowed to play in the same group with another golf club society for that reason.  However, as the son gets older and improves somewhat and the father begins to grow grey hair, then the son provides all the advice.  Imagine that – the son thinks he knows more than the Old Man.  This went on all day with Richard and Pops.  “Hit it to left Pops.  It breaks a lot Pops.  Get it to the hole Pops”.  Even once, “That was a good drive Pops”.  Even Pops knew it was a cock-up that looked more like a 9 iron than a drive.  I finally had some time alone on the green with Pops as the Kid was trying to find his ball after he hit way over the green.  Pops and I were of course on the green.

Scribe:  He sure likes to tell you how to play the game, eh?

Pops:  He thinks he can tell me something!!!!!

I loved it at the moment.  It was spot on.  Great comment Pops.

One last piece of trivia before the results.  When you play in a 3 ball and the Caddie is riding with you – it would be good advice for you to inform the Caddie that she is actually working for all three of you.  Not just for you no matter how handsome you are.  Richard threatened to take me out behind the shed and beat the crap out of me because I made him cough up RM 10 for the Caddie after the round because she “favoured” me a bit.  Pops was OK with the Caddie.  I think he said “What the Hades – she found my ball once and was not bad to look at.  Besides it is only RM 10.  Don’t worry about the Kid – he will learn …… eventually.”

 

Please note that Management takes its toll on your game.  El Pres not only had the highest Gross but also the fewest points.  Happens to the best of us.

• Winner:  Bernie Schobert – 39
• 1^st Runner Up:  Roger McGowan – 38 OCB
• 2^nd Runner Up:  John Preston – 38 OCB
• 1^st NTP:  Tony Morris – 8 meters
• 2^nd NTP:  Klaus Kretzchmar – 14 feet (Roger McGowan closer but already claimed a prize)
• Long Drive:  Richard Rodwell – 276 meters  (WOW)
• Low Gross: Karl “Three Putt” Muir – ONB (well done Three Putt)
• Last Birdie:  Johann Bohi  (How did that happen?????)

COTD Nominations:

• El Pres – Did not have time to shower.  Most likely because members were asking, “What flight am I in?”
• Ray Funnell – Could not find his Sand Wedge for three holes until it was discovered in his bag upside down.  (How many sand bunkers was he in?)
• John Preston – Whining about Hole No. 8 being the Long Drive hole but being a dogleg.  Did not seem to be a problem for Richard.
• Jimmy Leggett – Some minor offense by his Caddie.
• Bernie Schobert – Some major offense by his Caddie.
• Roger McGowan – After being away for one year, this scoundrel returns with a 28 handicap and proceeds to shoot a Gross 98 and win 2^ndPlace.  There ain’t no justice in this world.

After an unfair vote, it was determined El Pres, Jimmy and John were equally guilty.

Always picking on management – no justice.  What flight am I in?