Scribe Report

Chonburi, Thailand

16 – 19, May, 2013

It gives me great pleasure to report on another very successful tour of the Kuala Lumpur’s Other Golf Society to Thailand’s Chonburi Province in May 2013.

18 members and guests started out on day 1 with one player only putting in a guest appearance on the first day, another local guest played only on day 2 and 3 and one member had to drop out on day 4 due to a family matter.

This premier event attracted absent members from Ireland, the United Kingdom, Australia, South Africa and Thailand (we’d have to pay those from Ireland to stay away!).

All travel arrangements went smoothly, so that after a 30 minute bus ride from the Bangkok airport an earlier start on day 1 was possible. Those arriving on the official flight from KL had the advantage of breaking out the Bailey’s easing the pain which was to come.

Day 1 – Royal Golf Club

Obviously El Pres came to the Tour fully rested since he let us play off the blue tee boxes. This was to prove fatal for most. Long par 3’s on the course are some of the most challenging in Bangkok, especially the 230 yard 17th, which is as difficult as they come!

The 14th, a par 4 of 409 yards, requires two very long shots to reach the green in regulation. The next hole, a par 5, is famous for the narrow fairway and landing area, requiring three straight shots to avoid the water running down the left side of the hole. Hole 16, another tricky par 4, dubbed the “Mickey Mouse hole” because its sand bunker, resembles the famous Disney character, has two imposing ears sticking out. The greens are some of the best kept in Bangkok, and roll year round at over 10 on the stimpmeter. Oh, and did I mention the water hazards?

The results of Day 1, the May Monthly Medal, are as follows:

• 1st David Hewitt (cut 4)
• 2nd Jimmy Legget (cut 2)
• 3rd Gary Cooney (cut 1)

• NTP front 9 Frank Mackenzie
• NTP back 9 Des Hassan
• Longest Drive Dave Prosser (alfw)
• Lowest Gross Bernie Schobert and Gary Cooney 91
• Last Birdie Klaus Kretzschmar and Bernie Schobert (same hole)

COTD Nominations:

• Allan Wright : Premature tee-off on the 3rd hole par 3 instead of waiting for call-on
• El Pres : For letting us play off the blue tees, specially on the long par 3’s
• Brian Jeffers : For displaying his naked rear in the changing room.

Brian was elected COTD

Special thanks again to Rick Brown for supervising the design and purchase of the tour shirts. Pro tem Moneybags Raymond Keys did a splendid job. Thank you stepping up to the plate.

Day 2 – Laem Chabang Golf Club

This was the beginning of the 2-day horse and rider sweepstake and to determine the May Away champion. This lush and exotic course designed by Jack Nicklaus is a world-class golf course where each hole is different depending on its environment.

Considering the complaints and results of Day 1 El Pres took one look at the assembled motley crew and decided that henceforth we would be play off the white tees. The first day results were:

• 1st Martin Walsh with a blistering gross 85 for 42 points!
• 2nd Des Hassan with a respectable gross 88 for 34 points
• 3rd Dave Prosser with and gross of 85 for 33 points (ocb)
• NTP front 9 Rikki Ingham
• NTP back 9 Raymond Keys
• Longest Drive Bernie Schobert
• Lowest Gross Dave Prosser (shared with Martin)

COTD Nominations:

• Tom Ferranti : playing in a 3-ball asking his flight mates “what’s a 3-ball?”
• Brian Jeffers : for lengthy caddie abuse
• Dave Prosser : for collecting divots in his buggy

Brian was elected COTD

During the bus transfer from the Mercure Hotel, El Pres presented our visiting member Frank Mackenzie with a specially designed “emergency pack”. The content is intended to protect his flight mates from a fate more horrible than can be imagined. Thanks to Rick Brown for the design.

Thanks to the presence of Martin Walsh the traditional fines for all sorts of factual and imagined misdemeanours was reinstated. Pro-tem Moneybags Raymond Keys as expected applauded the change.

 

Day 3 – Siam Country Club Plantation Course

 

Siam Country Club Plantation Course is another of the many championship courses in Thailand. This was a most fitting venue to determine the lucky winners of the sweepstake and the Tour Champion.

• 1st Day 3 Frank Mackenzie Gross 84 44 Points
• 2nd Day 3 Greig Ritchie Gross 85 43 Points
• 3rd Day 3 Des Hassan Gross 80 42 Points

After golf we adjourned to the Courtyard for the tour dinner and prize giving. Thank you Greig Ritchie for making the arrangements. The food was excellent as usual.

With a combined Stableford score of 76 Des Hassan was crowned Tour Champion. Well done Des!

The prize monies according to the drawn horse and rider pairings are:

Des Hassan (horse) and Brian Jeffers (heavy rider) shared Baht 12,000

The hotly contested 12th place was taken by Ray Funnell (horse) who shared Baht 6,000 with Alan Wright (heavy rider II)

COTD Nominations

• Rikki Ingham : For emulating Frank Mackenzie’s November Away mishap. This also led to a suggestion to convert Frank’s “emergency pack” to a perpetual award.
• Martin Walsh : Being a tight arse for thinking he was paying the caddy Baht 200 after his great round on the first day of the competition when in fact he gave her Baht 2,000. He was the talk of the caddy shack!
• Tom Ferranti : For seeing mirror images in the most unlikely places
• Tom Ferranti : For using his 20/20 vision to shoot a total of 40 points.

No contest. The COTD award went to Rikki.

 

The full list of the 2-day event is shown below:

Day 4 – Khao Khoew Country Club

This was the traditional “money game”. An extremely early wake-up call at 6 a.m. found everybody on the bus at 7 a.m. except Rikki, who rather opted to take a taxi to the course.

The Khao Kheow golf course is located in the heart of the Chonburi ‘golf strip’ between Bangkok and Pattaya. The course plays quite long and has elevation changes between holes. El Pres decided that we would play a 2-man team game of better ball. The teams were based on the best and least scoring players resulting from the 2-day sweepstake. The results are as follows:

Clear winning team was Team Ireland; Raymond Keys and Gary Cooney sharing the prize money.

COTD Nominations:

• Dave Prosser : a combined nomination for wearing newly acquired multi-coloured golf shorts and playing like a c*** with only 15 points
• Brian Jeffers : for wearing something akin to pyjamas during the lunch
• David Hewitt : for not recognizing a certain part of the human anatomy on a photo.
• Rikki Ingham : for coming late to the golf course

Dave took the COTD honours. The tour virgins Tom and Dave were presented with most appealing headgear to commemorate the event.

In conclusion of the tour El Pres thanked all those who participated, especially those from overseas and wished them safe travels. He also thanked our sponsors Ye Old Club House, Wines Direct, City Golf and Robert Frager.