The KLOGS Away Tour from 16th-21st May 2014 went off very smoothly for all, thanks to the thorough planning by El Pres Iain Wise. All participants arrived early on the Tuesday so were fit and ready for the first round on Wednesday morning (or not, as the case may be). The KL contingent was joined by participants from UK, Australia, Thailand and Cambodia. For the first round, we had 17 players including 1 visitor (Ron) after which Dan Brod departed for Pattaya for a rounders tournament leaving 16 players for the remainder of the tour, supported by fitness coach, Richard Moss, who flew in specially for the event.

Tour accommodation was at the Duangtawan Hotel on Loi Kroh Rd; the hotel has seen better days (I particularly liked the portable safe in my room) but it was fine for our needs and the breakfast was good. It was also handy for the cultural attractions favoured by the group.   Wat Chedi Luang was particularly impressive.

Our tour guide, Winya (Winnie) kept us on track throughout the trip, coping well with the ribaldry on the bus (fueled initially by only 14.75L of Baileys – more anon).

1st Day – Monthly KLOGS Medal – Alpine Golf Resort

It was raining when we woke up then rained all day with barely a break until we retired for the night. Luckily tee-off time had been pushed back to 11.34am so there was no rush to leave the hotel and get out on the course. And fortunately, when we did tee-off, the rain was not too heavy, more of a persistent drizzle for most of the time, so did not interfere so much with play. The course and scenery were beautiful even when seen from below an umbrella but nevertheless under the conditions, it was very challenging.

Results

With no-one playing to handicap, the May medal winner with a score of 33 points was Colm O’Donnovan (cut 4). Tied at 31 points so settled on count-back were Tom Holmes (cut 2) & Ted Parslow (cut 1). Wayne & Rick battled it out gallantly for the final placing with Wayne prevailing with 5 points (having lost 26 balls); Rick could take consolation that at 127 he comfortably had the most gross.

Full results below

• NTP winner 1st Nine : None !
• NTP winner 2nd Nine : Iain Wise
• Lowest gross : Martin Walsh with 95 (Ted with 90 having won another prize)
• Last birdie : None !

COTD

There were 4 nominations for this initial award :

1. Stuart – for shaving holes all day
2. Wayne – for his 5 points & use of 26 balls having said he would play well, with a new putter and having had an early night, and with the stated objective of not getting COTD (though wearing the official Tour C shirt in anticipation)
3. Rick – for ladies tee after 3 shots
4. Iain – for bringing the December trophy (self nomination) & for a jug on the 1st tee

The clear winner was Iain Wise.

2nd Day – 1st Day of Competition – Chiang Mai Highlands Golf and Spa Resort

Day 2 dawned sunny but slightly overcast, but a welcome relief from the rain on the previous day.   Following the group photo, for which Mike (“this is probably my last tour”) Smith had slipped into some very stylish equestrian-themed shorts, in the (mistaken ) hope they would help him in the horse & jockey competition), we teed-off ~ 9.45am.

This course has beautiful views on almost every hole and was in good condition despite the rain the previous day.

Results

The runaway leader on this first day with a score of 90 for 45 points was El Pres, Iain Wise. Second but a long way back was Martin Walsh with 87 for 36 points, closely followed by our visitor Ron McLung.

Full results below

• NTP winner 1st Nine : Dave Evans
• NTP winner 2nd Nine : Ted Parslow
• Lowest gross : Bernie with 86

Iain’s prize as leader on day 1 was a pair of colourful running shorts; unfortunately he found out during the following day that it was the colour that ran, not the golfer.

COTD

There were 7 nominations for this:

1. Ron – for contaminating his Baileys
2. Colm – for his efforts in measuring the NTP
3. Iain – for nearly doubling his points of the previous day
4. Brian – for completely missing the ball on the tee, for using a putter off the tee & for searching for someone who could make use of a 1 cup bra; for hitting Waynes ball of the tee & not passing the ladies tee
5. David H – because Brian went further off the tee with his putter
6. Dave E – for ordering extra flies with the meal (the staff having suggested we would be better in the air conditioned room)
7. Stuart –for jugging out on 1st tee

Not surprisingly, the clear winner was Brian !

3rd Day – 2nd Day of Competition – Chiang Mai Highlands Golf and Spa Resort

Heavy overnight rain resulted in flooding in Chiang Mai making the journey through Chiang Mai to the highway very slow. However, there was no rain during the day and the weather was similar to the previous day (ie sunny & overcast).

Another great day on the golf course. 16 players teed-off in reverse order based on their positions the previous day.

Results

Despite serious attempts to knobble him the previous night by Martin and Wayne in particular (Wayne demonstrating numerous different ways of ingesting tequila, none of which I am tempted to follow), Iain just hung on to his lead to emerge the Champion with 192 for 78 points. Martin staged a significant challenge but ultimately finished 1 shot back on 169 for 77.

The surprises on this day of the event were the performances of Brian & Wayne, both of whom improved significantly on the previous day. Brian scored 91 for 45 points, leapfrogging himself up to 3rd in the process

Full results below

• NTP winner 1st Nine : Bernie S
• NTP winner 2nd Nine : Dave Evans

The winners of the Horse & Jockey competition were Iain with Colm for 1st and Ted Parslow with Jimmy for 12th (Dave E losing out on this one on a 3 way countback). Jimmy nearly had his card disallowed since he had put as his name Jimmy 3 putts but he did not take more than 2 all round.

COTD

There were 6 nominations for this:

1. Iain – for only half filling his winners tankard & for taking 40 mins to drink one tequila the previous night
2. Martin – for sneaking off early the previous night leaving Wayne to continue the knobbling & for eventually providing 2 x 75cl of Baileys, after much protesting
3. Wayne – for planning to be COTD
4. Colm & Mike – for not paying their caddies
5. Tom – for redecorating

Iain fully justified his second win !

Later that evening 9 players plus Richard Moss had a very pleasant dinner with wine & beer at the Riverside Restaurant, El Pres narrowly avoiding another nomination for needing a calculator to divide the bill by 10.

4th Day – Team Scramble – Summit Green Valley

Another beautiful and challenging golf course. The weather was hot and sunny, a complete contrast to the early part of the week.

Four 4 player teams cunningly selected by El Pres teed-off.

Results

The Dream Team of Tom, Colm, Stuart & Dave E blitzed the course, with 7 birdies and only 1 bogie (on the Index 1) for 66. Particular highlights including 2 long putts to give 2 birdies in the first 3 holes, then Tom playing 2 pressure shots to within a few feet of the hole to set up birdies later in the first 9, a second shot hitting the flag on #15 (par 4), setting up another birdie, then the coup-de-gras – Tom & Colm driving the lake with their 2nd shots on the par 5 18th hole, giving long eagle putt opportunities, eventually yielding the final birdie.

Second was the team of Iain, Martin, Ron & Rick with 70, then the other 2 teams at 71 (Bernie, Wayne, Allan & Jimmy and Ted, David H, Mike, & Brian) but they’re not writing this report so that’s enough about them.

COTD

There were 5 nominations for this:

1. Tom – for despicable behavior (generally)
2. Brian – for wayward driving through the round then hitting a 220m drive on the last hole, and for being given a ‘yellow card’ by Hastie for mind games within his own team
3. David H (Hastie) – for his enthusiasm for acquiring local knowledge from our dedicated (and patient) tour guide
4. Martin – for his rampant imagination relating to the hole 9 layout
5. Wayne – for no alcohol the preceding night.

And the winner was David H !

COTT

However finally, it was time for that most prestigious of awards, COTT

There was little disagreement amongst the players when it came to this award, particularly given his strenuous efforts to dig himself deeper and deeper into the hole by arguing that his 75cl bottle of Baileys met the requirement.

Martin Walsh – you are the 2017 May COTT !

In addition to the trophies mentioned above, various prize winners received sleeves of balls courtesy of Renaissance Hotels (thanks to Robert Frager).

Fines & Honesty Jugs

There were numerous jugs on the 1st & 2nd days in particular, and the Fines Master (Martin) was in fine form, penalising numerous people for various misdemeanors. As a result, we topped up the WHIP by 16,000 baht on these 2 days alone.

Commiserations

Unfortunately Ricardo Castro (Moneybags) was unable to join the tour as he was confined to Malaysia while his work permit was being processed

A few more reminders of a great week !

Photos : courtesy of your Scribe, Bernie, Rick & Martin.

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